I am in charge of my own happiness

I am in charge of my own happiness. And I have plenty to spare if you need additional happiness in your life.

I am in charge of my own happiness but Puppy is in charge of licking my feet.  

I am in charge of my own happiness.  Under no circumstances am I in charge of housecleaning.

I am in charge of my own happiness. Which is why my children have learned to close the doors to their rooms!

I am in charge of my own happiness. My paycheck does not define my joy or my reason for living. It is, however, a nice plus.

I am in charge of my own happiness. Smiles from friends, relatives, and affectionate children only add to my happiness.

I am in charge of my own happiness. Not the color of my hair which I pay someone else to be in charge of.

I am in charge of my own happiness. I am not in charge of all the diets in the world because if I had my way there wouldn’t be any calories in chocolate.

I am in charge of my own happiness. I am not in charge of my mother-in-law. I’m sure she would agree.

I am in charge of my own happiness. My editor is in charge of capitalization and spelling.

I am in charge of my own happiness. I am not in charge of the weather (although since I am your mother I am in charge of what you wear in the weather).

I am in charge of my own happiness. And the remote control. Definitely the remote control.

I am in charge of my own happiness. And my own jewelry. Except the paying for it part. Someone else can be in charge of that. Any volunteers?

I am in charge of my own happiness. And my husband’s. When Mama’s happy, everyone else is more likely to be happy.

I am in charge of my own happiness. Hence, my frequent shopper cards at places like DSW and Macy’s.

I am in charge of my own happiness. Having wonderful friends around makes it that much easier to be happy. Guess why you’re important to me?

I am in charge of my own happiness. Comments on my blog do not define my happiness. But they certainly don’t hurt (feel free to add your comments below).

I am in charge of my own happiness. What about you?

Who Says You Can’t Teach an Old Dog New Tricks?

You Can’t Teach an Old Dog New Tricks.

This is one cliché that makes my teeth hurt.  Not only is it untrue, it is anti-canine and ageist, and I don’t support either.

Our dog—referred to as Puppy in all public communication—is not really a puppy anywhere but in my heart. He is somewhere between 5 and 6 years old (being a rescue dog, we can’t pinpoint it any closer than that).  Don’t worry—we celebrate his birthday on the day we adopted him, so he (and the children) don’t miss out on a birthday celebration.

The point is that while he is no longer quite as youthful as he once was, he is still quite adept at learning. Puppy learns all kinds of new things.  Recently, he learned the sound of a banana being ripped off the bunch. Puppy LOVES bananas and now never misses an opportunity to share a bit of the fruit.  Especially if I’m the one with the banana, since I’m the one Most Likely to Share with Puppy. He knows. If Hubby gets a banana, it might warrant opening an eye to determine whether any hits the floor.  If I pull a banana off the bunch, four legs fight to see who can propel his long body to me first.

“But learning to love sweets is not what we’re talking about,” I hear you say. No problem.  Puppy has also learned to clean up his toys (he’s much neater than the kids), clear his dishes after he eats (ditto), and most recently how to “high-five.” I frequently teach him new tricks and behaviors precisely because I think it’s important for him to continue to learn throughout his life. Besides, it’s really cute.

“You still don’t get it, Judi,” you continue undaunted. “The point is about people learning new tricks. Dogs are merely a metaphor. Think Aesop.”

Fine. I still don’t buy the cliché.

After they retired, my formerly unathletic parents began all kinds of adventures. They learned to snow shoe, to handle sea kayaks, and hike on a quasi regular basis. I know other people who at retirement age have learned to type Braille, speak another language, or begin an entirely new career.

Other people venture into new technology. Cathy loved her job in customer service. For years, she had been happy to let the computer generation pass her by, seeing no need for her to learn “those things.”  People offered to teach her various computer skills, but she politely declined, content to do her job with the high attention to detail she’d always managed without a computer.  Eventually, however, it became clear that technology was here to stay and that in order to remain in her function, Cathy would need to catch up to the computer generation.  She wasn’t excited about it, but she was determined. In record time, Cathy became so proficient at the software required for her position that she became the “go to” person when there were questions.  Her exceptional performance without the technology translated rapidly to the new platform.

Penny Heneke, “a senior with time on her hands,” decided age was not a deterrent to taking violin lessons when she learned the studio also had two 92 year olds taking instruction.  While not yet a virtuoso, she can proudly play Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and various other pieces (see Making Music Magazine for more about Penny).

At 48, Troy learned to use a sewing machine. At 82, Marie learned to play the piano. At 73, Robert learned to golf. At 67, Marc learned to be a zoo docent. At 58, Rebecca learned to swim. The list goes on and on.

Who says an old dog can’t learn new tricks? But for that matter, who gets to define “old dog?”

That Is One Possible Interpretation!

We woke up today to the first real snow of the season.  The trees were covered in light outlines of white and the snow lay about an inch and a half deep throughout the neighborhood.

As my family progressed through the morning, we each had a very different reaction to the weather.  It reminded of one of the most useful phrases I’ve ever learned:  That is one possible interpretation.

We all know that many people can view a single event or fact and come away with radically different interpretations.  Here’s what happened in our house on this particular morning.

The GirlChild rolled out of bed, saw the snow, launched into song about how wonderful snow is, and  wrote a letter to a friend in another city extolling the virtues of having snow even if it wasn’t a snow day because it was already the weekend. She spent the rest of the day composing various songs and skits in tribute to the winter weather.

The BoyChild leaped out of bed with hitherto unseen enthusiasm and announced, “I am DEFINITELY going snowboarding with (Best Friend) today.” Snow depth and accumulation were secondary to the possibility of vigorously attacking the golf course in best teenage-boy fashion.

My Husband glanced out the window, muttered, “Huh. Not enough to worry about shoveling.” And promptly returned to coffee and the newspaper.

On his walk, Puppy sank down into the snow to armpit depth (which isn’t all that far considering he’s part dachshund) and bounded around like, well, like a puppy.  Joy, without any further goals attached.

 I had several different reactions to the snow. My first was “Look how gorgeous the trees are; I’m so glad I don’t have to go anywhere and can sit here and enjoy the beauty.” My second was, “Better get some towels to the laundry room—we’re going to have some wet people today.” And my third was, “Marshmallows! Do we have enough marshmallows for hot chocolate?”

As I think about these reactions, it is so easy to see that none were “Right” or “Wrong,” none were “Good” or “Bad.” They simply were different interpretations of the same event. Undoubtedly other people had additional reactions.

Fortunately in this case everyone was happy to enjoy their own interpretation and didn’t spend time trying to convert anyone else to their view. All too often however people insist that their vantage point is the only appropriate one.  While explaining and sharing a viewpoint is wonderful, it’s important to remember that other people’s perceptions can be equally valid.

One fact: snow.  Many different reactions. And the phrase “That is one possible interpretation.”

Top Ten Tips for Surviving Hockey Season

Hockey moms are tough. We sit in bitter cold arenas watching opposing teams try to damage our children. We invest in cars the size of Canada to lug equipment bigger than the child from rink to rink.  We endure frostbite and penalty calls equally.  Mostly, we say a silent prayer of thanks each time the child comes off the ice with most important bodily parts intact. 

Here are my Top Ten Tips for Surviving Hockey Season as the parent of a player. With a special bonus Top Ten Hints for Surviving as a Player.

For Parents

1. Wear the same kinds of outfits as the guys who climb Kilimanjaro.  Then bring a blankets (preferably one to sit on and one to cover your legs). Don’t forget the little chemical packets that warm up when you smack them.
2. Invest in an industrial size bottle of Fabreeze.  Better yet, make it a case.  I thought soccer bags got a little ripe, but soccer bags have nothing on stinky boy hockey stuff.
3. Find a portable hobby.  What with the kid having to be there over an hour before the game starts and then the showering and packing up after the game, there is a fair amount of wait time. Do your waiting in the area outside the rink where it will only be very chilly rather than stupid cold. Bringing something to entertain yourself (and any small children you may have brought with you) goes a long way toward making the time more enjoyable.
4. Hockey has often been defined as a fight in which an occasional game breaks out.  Fortunately, it is not nearly as vicious in High School—except in the stands. Seriously? These are kids. Back off and enjoy the game.
5. If you haven’t already learned it, figure out the best way to get from your rink to the Emergency room.  Be nice to the doctors, as over the next few years you are likely to be there more than once. (Corollary: If you are there so often they know you by name, you might consider encouraging the kid to switch to a nice safe sport, like boxing.)
6. Hockey rink food is pretty bad. And generally all you can say for the coffee is that it is more or less hot. Plan accordingly.
7. Many High School hockey teams have a variety of players.  Don’t say “But you’re a GIRL!” when you meet Chris the Goalie.
8. Turns out, much to my surprise, that referees are human too. They make mistakes. Shouldn’t happen, but it does. Disparaging their eyesight or casting aspersions on their ancestry is annoying, rude, and teaches our kids the wrong things. Kindly remember that there are siblings in the stands.
9. Cheering for your team is good. Booing the opponents is bad. Cow bells are fine. Fog horns should earn you a one-way ticket to the penalty box (these are not professional size arenas, folks!).

10.  The most difficult position in hockey is MotherOfTheGoalie and she might be sitting near you. Try to remember that if the puck gets to the net, someone else on the team either didn’t do their job or got beaten. Phrases like, “Oh, come ON, you gotta get those!” are neither useful nor informative. Guaranteed the goalie did not let the puck in on purpose.

Reminders For players

1. Looking at the latest in NHL level equipment is not a substitute for getting your homework done.
2. The front hallway is not an acceptable storage area for hockey equipment. And stacking your equipment neatly so that it conveniently blocks the front door is not helpful.
3. I bought you a case of Fabreeze. Please use at least some of it.
4. Watching an NHL hockey game on tv is not—under any circumstances—“studying.”
5. Your sister has gone to all of your hockey games. Yes, you have to go to her dance recital.
6. I don’t care how big you are or how effective you are on the ice rink. I’m still your mother, and I make the rules.
7. Hockey pucks do not belong in the house. Especially when there is a hockey stick in your hand.  No amount of “I promise I won’t hit anything!” changes this rule.  Just as no amount of “I didn’t mean to” will repair Great Aunt Sophie’s vase.
8. “I have to re-tape my stick” is not a reasonable excuse for not doing school work. Nor is it a reason for us to invest in enough tape to mummify the entire western hemisphere. Sorry, extra tape is on your own dime.
9. We are only half-way though the season and so far this sport has cost us the equivalent of the national debt of a medium-sized nation. Try to act grateful occasionally. Or at least not sullen.

10.  The floor, the chair, the banister, inside your hockey bag—NONE of these are considered appropriate places for your wet towel.

Hockey is a great (albeit chilly) sport.  Let’s enjoy the season, shall we?

When not freezing her toes off in the hockey stands, Judi Cogen is a Principal with J Grace Consulting and an expert in reducing unwanted organizational turnover.  Her Selection Strategist Program helps companies reduce turnover and take the guesswork out of hiring by using proven conative testing and company specific analytics to select the right person for the right position.  J Grace Consulting also offers Youth Strategist, a program to help 10 to 17 year old kids understand their conative attributes for more success in life and school.  Learn more about Selection Strategist and Youth Strategist at http://JGraceConsulting.net  and you can follow Judi on Twitter at http://Twitter.com/JudiCogen.

Top 15 Reasons to Love Winter

Hoo-boy. Lot’s of whining in the Twitterverse today about the cold weather. Of course, the weather IS ridiculously frigid and I’m pretty much at the head of the whining pack, but I thought I should sit down and write out the Top 15 Reasons to Love Winter.

1. We can remember this when it is 95+ degrees out and we want to crawl inside the freezer.
2. It keeps the salt truck people and the plow drivers employed.
3. It is great for travel agents who book trips to warm places.
4. It is possible to come inside and get warm. Sort of.
5. You don’t have to mow or water the snow.
6. When the puppy runs off after a squirrel, he can’t hide in the undergrowth because there isn’t any.
7. It’s easy to justify hot chocolate, marshmallows, and brandy (for medicinal purposes only).
8. A roaring fire seems sort of silly in the summer.
9. There is something totally adorable about a small child’s face all red from playing in the snow.
10. Snowmen. Just can’t build them at the beach.
11. You can figure out where all the air leaks are in your house.
12. Some people would say skiing, sledding, snowboarding, etc. I wouldn’t be one of those people, but it’s worth listing.
13. When you wear lots of heavy layers, the holiday pounds are less obvious.
14. If we didn’t have winter, half my wardrobe would be wasted. Besides, there are lots of cute boots to shop for.
15. Snuggling.

What are your top reasons to love (or at least put up with) winter?

Judi Cogen is a Principal with J Grace Consulting and an expert in reducing unwanted organizational turnover.  Her Selection Strategist Program helps companies reduce turnover and take the guesswork out of hiring by using proven conative testing and company specific analytics to select the right person for the right position.  J Grace Consulting also offers Youth Strategist, a program to help 10 to 17 year old kids understand their conative attributes for more success in life and school.  Learn more about Selection Strategist and Youth Strategist at http://JGraceConsulting.net  and you can follow Judi on Twitter at http://Twitter.com/JudiCogen where she is currently complaining bitterly about the weather.

It Takes a Village…

Earlier this evening, someone sent out a tweet about a village. I’m not entirely sure what possessed me, but I sent the following lines into the twittersphere one line at a time.  I’d love to hear your thoughts about what a village can do.

It takes a village…to raise a child.

It takes a village…to build a tourist trap.

It takes a village…to make billboards worthwhile.

It takes a village…to have a village store.

It takes a village…to give a big city a comparison.

It takes a village…to have that great little diner.

It takes a village…to house the village idiot.

It takes a village…to have a sense of humor.

It takes a village…to have the right kind of ice cream parlor.

It takes a village…to appreciate these tweets.

It takes a village…(fill in your own chorus here).

It takes a village…because we’re all too lazy to do it alone.

It takes a village…because who has the time or skills on their own.

It takes a village…to have a great 4^th of July parade.

It takes a village…to find enough people for a good game of poker.

Yet it only takes me to clog up the twitter stream…

What’s your idea for It Takes a Village…?

Judi Cogen is a principal at J Grace Consulting. When not riffing on Twitter or email, she helps coaches and consultants grow their businesses—tapping into a village full of resources.

How to Become an Expert Spammer–9 Tips to Annoying Those Around You

Dear Mr or Mrs Spammer Wannabe,

After years of watching various versions of junk/spam come through on various electronic sources, I believe I have finally put together a comprehensive plan for you to be the most hated bot in cyberspace.  Simply follow these simple tips, and you too can have everyone roll their eyes when your name pops up.

1. Do not address your communication to me personally.  By all means, refer to me as Mr or Ms—I find it sets the stage for the close, meaningful relationship we’re going to have. Even better, please just throw in my e-address with a bunch of others (preferably folks I don’t know) so that I can understand immediately exactly how important I am to you.
2. Use really English bad and spelin g worse. Nothing makes me want to get involved with you like having to work hard to figure out just what it is you are saying.  After all, if I have to decipher your message, I’m spending more time looking at it, right?
3. Make the offer a spectacular one.  You’re competing with the guy who has money in Nigeria that he wants to give me because I have a great email name and with the woman who wants to let me know that I’ve inherited $18 million ‘just because.’ Promise me thousands of followers and endless income with no effort. Creativity counts! Since it’s all hoo-ha anyway, you might as well make it interesting hoo-ha.
4. Tell me I am perfect for your affiliate program.  This links heavily to #1.  When you tweet me and 3 other people and tell me you have the best affiliate program for me with absolutely no details, well, I’d just be a fool not to sign up, right?
5. Be sure to write frequently. Nothing says “I Spam You” like sending multiple unsolicited contacts each day.  Better yet, make it hourly so I know I am super important to you.
6. Send porn or use other inappropriate language. It would be best if you could time those so I open them when at least one of my kids is around.  It’s gratifying to have important teachable moments.
7. Still without knowing me, imply that I have significant problems only you can solve. You know the ones—like when you decide I need to file bankruptcy, fix poor credit, buy a new house (under $10K), sell a time share, lose weight, clean my colon, extend my auto warranty, cure baldness, own a new home alarm system, foreclose on my new house (under $10K) with the new alarm system, un-sag my wrinkles, paint my new home (under $10) with the new alarm system that I’m taking to foreclosure.  It saves us both so much time when you decide what’s important to me and I don’t have to bother thinking.  In fact, I’m considering ripping out all my hair just to try the cure baldness product—how could I not?
8. Encourage me to pass your nonsense along to my friends and threaten me with dire evil if I don’t. Don’t bother telling me how much luck or money I’ll have if I push the “send” button, just get right down to the ugliness that will befall me, my family, and my vegetable garden should I dare to delete your message without inflicting it upon tens of thousands.
9. My new favorite: write to me in a language I don’t speak. Just got one in French. I took some French in HS (back in the Paleozoic era) and I remember just enough to know that this individual is offering me massive money just because I’m on the internet.  For all I know, he may want to fix my baldness too.

But whatever format you decide to use, the most important thing is to get going. Do not wait for content, graphics or slick sales talk. If you do that, you’re missing the whole point. Spam early, spam often, spam pointless!

Just leave me out, OK?

Judi Cogen is a principal at J Grace Consulting. When not dodging spammers on Twitter or email, she helps coaches and consultants grow their businesses—without spam.

Soccer–7 Rules for Surviving the Season

Each coach treats his or her soccer team differently, and different leagues and age ranges all have different cultures, habits and rules.  However, over the years of learning the game of “futball,” I have compiled an LOR (List Of Rules) for the kids to make the season more enjoyable for us all.

1. Cleats (or “boots” if you’re speaking British) are to be taken off before you enter the house.  You may remove them in the car or in the laundry room, but under NO circumstances are you to wear them into the kitchen where we have hardwood floors that were re-finished several years ago and I have no intention of going through all that dust again for a LONG time.  So take off your cleats before going inside.
2. If your cleats (or “boots”) are wet, muddy, caked with grass, or otherwise messy, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. We do not have a shoe-cleaning fairy to magically clean them for you.  And we are not going to buy a new pair just because yours are a bit dirty or soggy.  So please, don’t even ask.
3. We have purchased an extra large commercial size bottle of Fabreze. Use it! On cleats, on shin guards, on your soccer bag—pretty much anything that can’t go in the washer is a good target.
4. Speaking of your soccer bag, when you throw it down on the kitchen floor because it is too heavy for you to carry a few extra feet, you accomplish several things (none of them good). You risk scratching the kitchen floor (which I may have mentioned is a no-no), you are offering the Puppy a new game called “See What Fun Things Are In The Soccer Bag,” and you are clearly attempting to kill your mother as the likelihood of me tripping over some portion of your gear is  breathtakingly huge. To be clear—find another home for your soccer bag.
5. Do not ignore your soccer bag or its contents. When it is half an hour to game time and it will take 15 minutes to get to the field and you are supposed to be there 30 minutes early and you choose that moment to yodel that your uniform isn’t clean, there is not much I can do except offer you the aforementioned bottle of Fabreze. This is also not the time to mention that you don’t know where your left cleat has gotten to, that everyone has agreed to wear a green stripe in their hair for this game, or that I am responsible for snacks for the entire team.
6. You are old enough to put water into a water bottle all by yourself.  You are old enough to tell time.  Therefore, you are old enough to have your own water bottle(s) ready to go on time.
7. Just to be clear: watching professional soccer games on tv does NOT constitute studying and therefore is not a substitute for doing actual homework.

Most importantly, please remember that this is just a game.  Do your best, but have fun. Encourage your teammates, even when they don’t play up to your standards. Be polite to the coach and the referees.  Play safe—and have fun.

What are your rules for soccer season?

Judi Cogen is a principal at J Grace Consulting. During the fall, when she’s not helping her clients grow their businesses, she can generally be found on the sidelines of one of her children’s soccer games trying to remember whether the offsides rule applies. You can follow her on twitter @JudiCogen.

Worded Wonder or How Words are the Glue that Binds and Blinds

Less than 24 hours until we are due to depart for family events in a different time zone and this is the conversation in our house.

Me:  Do you know what the dress is for the weekend?

Him:  What does it matter, all the events are at my sister’s house.

Me:  No, they aren’t, but what does that have to do with anything?

Him: Well, we’ll be at my mom’s.  Won’t she know where everything is?

Me:  What are you talking about? 

Him:  Can’t we just figure it all out once we’re there?

Me:  How—exactly—are we supposed to pack?

Him (light vaguely dawning): Oh, you said “dress” I thought you said “address” …

Me:  Right. So.  Do you know what the dress is?

Him: Um, no …

Me:  SO HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO PACK?

The conversation might have continued on like that except just then my head exploded.

The above conversation with the Hugs was a completely unintentional word scramble, but it got me thinking about other words our family has twisted or created.

Like “f-d” which is code for dessert and comes from when the BoyChild was little.  When asked “What are you eating for dessert?” he would respond by saying that the cookie was his “f’dessert.” For dessert. One word. Noun. Shorthand for parents: f-d.

Or the term “oversplode” which the GirlChild invented the day she was watching the pot on the stove and it, well, it oversploded.  Can’t argue.

Some terms stem from simple mispronunciation.  In our family, the phrase “really and truly” means you must absolutely stop teasing or obfuscating and tell the truth.  The GirlChild, to this day, pronounces the phrase “Reallyan Trulyan.” Please don’t correct her—I love it.

Then there’s “boofnana” instead of banana (which has no real origin except silliness) and shoozles for shoes (ditto) which go on toezles. 

Many misusages come from when the children were little.  Like when the GirlChild was wisely commenting on how eco-friendly we were and announced that Daddy was taking the composers out. You know, the composers are what goes in the compost bin. To compose.

Or the California city known within our home as Fran-Sa-Sisco.

Some words take on a new meaning because of a single incident.  For example, the GirlChild and I were playing Boggle and she found the word “hoax.” I hadn’t found it, and like any good parent I looked for a loophole to keep from losing the point.  I insisted that she was too young to know that word—until she defined it for me.  So now “hoax” can also mean “Child doing something very clever.”

The list goes on and on.  These are just some of my favorites.

Anybody can use the standard words listed in Webster’s. For us (with the exception of “oversplode” which should be in the dictionary), using our own words helps cement us as a family.

Reallyan trulyan.

Judi Cogen is a principal at J Grace Consulting. When not consulting or listening to her children invent new words, she can be found helping people learn how to be entrepreneurs.  You can follower her on twitter @JudiCogen. 

Going Bananas!!

My dog sitter, Dee, thinks I’m crazy.  (OK, she’s not the only one who thinks I’m crazy, but that’s a different story.)  Recently, Dee opened my freezer to find enough frozen banana pieces to ensure the entire monkey population in the western hemisphere will never go hungry.  Since we have The Puppy and not a monkey, she decided I was a little loony. 

This year we were fortunate enough to be given about ¾ of a case of bananas.  Just for the record—that’s a lot of bananas.  We like bananas.  But that is a lot of bananas.  So a little creativity was called for.

Here’s what I have learned in my banana research which has consisted of talking to three relatives and watching an entire episode of Iron Chef.  (If you feel the need even more information check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banana.).

1. Bananas are wonderfully healthy.  Not only that, they taste good.  To people and dogs.
2. Bananas are considered ripe about 4 days after I consider them to be perfect. When they are technically “ripe” I consider them to be technically “mushy.” The worst part about this is that I have to tell the Hugs he’s been technically correct about banana ripeness all this time.  (I still think they’re mushy.)
3. Harry Belafonte’s rendition of the “Banana Boat Song” (Day-O. Da-a-a-ay-O) is still the best banana song ever.  Harry Chapin’s “30,000 Pounds of Bananas” is a close second.  What is it with “Harrys” and “bananas”?
4. Bananas do not have a ridiculously long shelf life. And it is tough for a family of four to make significant progress on eating ¾ of a case of them.
5. The Puppy loves bananas. He can not only distinguish the sound of a banana being broken from the bunch, he can tell that I’m the one doing the separating.  (I’m the only one who shares with him.)
6. Frozen banana pieces are better than ice cream. (My opinion only, don’t get excited.  It’s just I’m not particularly fond of ice cream.)  Just peel the bananas, cut into 1 inch coins, freeze on a cookie sheet, then dump into a plastic bag.  The Puppy likes frozen banana pieces too.
7. Recipes.  There are countless recipes for banana bread (I’m including my favorite below), banana pudding, bananas foster, and other banana desserts.  But I can’t find any recipes for a savory banana dish or a main course with bananas. (On Iron Chef most of the savory dishes used plantains—and I couldn’t find the recipes for the Iron Chef Bananas episode anyway.)

So I froze bananas.  And I baked banana bread.  Several loaves.  But I’m putting out a call for great banana recipes.  What’s your best way to deal with all this fruit without Going Bananas?

 

Judi’s Banana Bread

2 Cups sifted flour

1 tsp salt

½ tsp baking soda

½ C shortening

1 C sugar

2 eggs

1½ C mashed bananas (3-5 bananas.  I generally use 5 and don’t worry about the “measurement”)

1 tsp vanilla

2/3 C chopped nuts (if you happen to like nuts in your banana bread, which I don’t so I leave them out)

Sift together flour, salt, and baking soda. 

In a mixing bowl, cream shortening and sugar.  Add eggs and beat.  Add bananas and then dry ingredients.  Add vanilla and nuts.  (NOTE:  somehow, this recipe challenges the size of my mixer.  So I generally add the dry ingredients before the bananas.  Not sure why. I’m no culinary expert.)

Bake about 1½ hours at 325° in a greased 2 quart loaf pan.  Test center for doneness. (NOTE: my oven runs a little hot, so I bake at 320° and test at about 1 hour and 15 minutes.)

Cool thoroughly. (NOTE:  It cuts much better if you allow it to cool.  In fact, it’s better the next day.  But if you have teenagers around when you’re baking you may not have that luxury.  It still works.)

Wrap in foil and keep in refrigerator.  Best for slicing after at least one day.

 

Judi Cogen is a principal at J Grace Consulting. When not consulting or baking banana bread she can be found on twitter @JudiCogen.  She is not a culinary expert by any stretch of the imagination, but the Banana Bread recipe seems to work fine.